Who Am I as a Communicator

Upon completing the communication survey I found that the results seemed to line up with what I perceived as my communication style.  My husband one of the people I asked to survey my communication seemed to line up with what I perceived of myself.  In the area of communication anxiety inventor I scored a 48 and my husband scored me at 50 both scores fell under moderate anxiety, which indicates that I feel somewhat concerned about a number of communication contexts, but probably not all.  This mid-point level of communication anxiety is what we call situational.  This outcome was not a surprise to me because I know that I don’t like public speaking and try to avoid having to do any.  The second person that evaluated me was a colleague who scored me at 39, which is mild anxiety, which states that I feel a bit uneasy in some communication situations and somewhat more confident in other contexts.  Communication does not seem to be something that I worry a great deal about.  Her score the scores that my husband scored me at and I scored myself are not much different, they both captured the fact that I don’t like to public speak.

In the area of Verbal Aggressiveness again my husband and I scored in the same category.  He scored me at a 59 and I scored myself at a 58, which is moderate aggressiveness, which states that I maintain a good balance between respect and consideration for others’ viewpoints, and the ability to argue fairly by attacking the facts of a position rather than a person holding that position.  I was surprised that my husband scored me in this category, because I can sometimes be aggressive in our disagreements and do sometimes attack him when I disagree with him.  My colleague scored me at 35, which is no aggressiveness, which states you never engage in verbal aggressiveness or personal attacks, even when desiring to influence other to your point of view.  You are respectful to others, but you will back down rather than engage in persuasive conversation.  I was surprised and not surprised at this score.  I was surprised because I do tend to push my point of view when someone disagrees with me.  I don’t back down.  I was not surprised at this score because I make it a point to be respectful of others and I never would attack someone personally in the context of a work situation.

In the area of Listening styles again my husband and I scored the same my score was Group 1, People-oriented, which states you are empathetic and concerned with the emotions of others.  This listening style helps you to build relationships, but it can interfere with proper judgment because you tend to be very trusting of others.  While my colleague scored me in Group 2, Action-oriented, which states that I am business-like and I prefer clear, to the point communication that outlines a plan of action.  Your efficiency is respected but may intimidate more sensitive listeners.  Here is where I need to make a change because I feel that I need to be more empathetic in work place, because I need to be able to connect with families.  The score of Action-oriented listening comes from my previous career in Corporate America.  This type of listening style is not useful in my current line of work.

The insights I gained through this week’s assignments is that I need to become more empathetic in the work place because I need to consider the families that I am servicing.  I need to be able to build strong relationships with them and having an empathetic listening style would be helpful in achieving this goal.  The other insight that I discovered is that being aware of your own communication style helps you to improve communication with others because you become aware of areas that you need work in.

Reference:

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge.

Rubin, R. B., Rubin, A. M., Graham, E. E., Perse, E. M., & Seibold, D. R. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures II: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge

Communicating

I do communicate differently when I am talking with people at work opposed to talking with my family or husband.  When I am at work I am more reserved and try to use appropriate language and English when talking to families and colleagues.  When I am communicating with family I am more relaxed, I might even use slang while talking with family and or husband.  These two situations are different and require me to adjust myself and my communication style.  Situational context determines the rules of behavior and the roles people must play under different conditions.  Competent communicators will always consider the appropriateness and effectiveness of nonverbal communication in a given context (O’Hair &Wiemann, 2009). 

When I communicate with groups of people that are from different culture than I am I become very sensitive to how these people respond to what I am saying.  I look very closely for non-verbal cues such as a nod that they understand what I am saying or might even agree with what I am saying.  There is a population of people at my church who are from Miramar they are refugees in this country.  I don’t have many occasions to speak to them, but when I do I pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions to determine if they understand what I am communicating to them.  I always try to speak slowly and I may use hand gestures to help in their understanding me.   

I think effective strategies to communicating with different groups of people would be to learn more about this group of people.  Learning what people’s points of view and perspectives is always helpful when you need to communicate with them.  Being an active listener is also helpful when communicating with others.  Another valuable approach would be other-oriented when communicating.  Taking an other-oriented approach to communication means considering the thoughts, feelings, background, perspectives, attitudes and values of your partners and adjusting your interaction with them accordingly (Beebe, Beebe & Redmond, 2011).  It is so important to consider the other person when trying to be an effective communicator.

Reference:

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon.

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s.

The Big Bang Theory

I watched an episode of the Big Bang Theory a show I have never watched from beginning to end.  My husband watches this program.

The show opens with Sheldon and another man entering a barber shop.  They are greeted by a barber Sheldon says something to the barber and the barber says something back.  Sheldon seems upset and even irritated by what the barber said to him.  He begins talking to the man he walked in with.  The barber walks away.  Sheldon then walks over to the barber who is standing near his chair.  The barber waves Sheldon over to his chair.  Sheldon sits in the chair and the barber begins to talk, then Sheldon jumps up grabs his jacket and runs out of the shop.  I was not sure what the barber said to Sheldon, but whatever he said changed Sheldon’s mood.  It seemed as though he were angry at the barber.  Once I watched with the sound, Sheldon’s regular barber was not in he was terribly sick in the hospital.  Sheldon did not want the other barber to cut his hair because he did not have “hair cutting history” as he put it.  I had assumed correctly that the barber had said something to upset Sheldon, but from the body language alone I could not decipher what was being said; I thought he was angry with the barber.

In another scene of the show Howie and a woman are communicating through a webcam so Howie appears on her laptop and they are communicating.  Howie looks disheveled his hair is sticking up he has dirt or something all over his face and he looks tired and is talking to this woman with a smile on his face.  I could not figure out why he was smiling while he spoke to this woman he looked as though he had been in an accident or something.  When I watched with the sound on Howie had spent the day in field training to become an Astronaut it was grueling training and he was smiling to show that he is a trooper and the training did not get to him.  This scene was confusing because Howie’s physical state conflicted with his non-verbal communication.

The next scene the woman Howie was talking to through the webcam arrives at his door.  She walks in with a suit case.  They embrace and begin talking.  I assumed this woman was his wife or girlfriend.  When I watched with the sound on I was correct in my assumption she is his girlfriend.

I think my assumptions were correct even though I did not know the characters or anything about the show.  The non-verbal communication helped me figure out relationships and state of mind.  The scene where Howie appeared disheveled would have been confusing to anyone watching; because his non-verbal communication did not match what he had just went through that day.

Reference:

Kristy Cecil, Mary Quigley, Kelly Anne Lee (Producers), Steven Silver (Director). (2012).  The Big Bang Theory (Series).

Competent Communicator

Communication is an important function that people take part in and being able to be effective communicator is a great achievement.  When I think of someone who is an effective communicator I think President Obama.  President Obama never seems nervous when he gives speeches.  His speeches are always easy to understand, he does not speak above your head.  He articulates his words well as he speaks he pauses appropriately.  In terms of his persona he gives off an air of confidence and intelligence.  He is always dressed appropriately.  He gives off an attitude that he really cares for the United States that why I always seem to feel confident about what he is communicating.   Another person I would describe as an effective communicator would be a Supervisor I had in my previous job.  She always gave me clear and precise instruction when she needed me to do something.  She always listened to her employees and would consider our suggestions after group meetings or one on one meeting.  She too gives you the feeling that she cares for her employees and the center, so I always felt comfortable with what she had to say.

I would love to acquire the skills of these two people in the area of communication.  They are both powerful and memorable communicators.  I think mastering the art of communication also involves listening and understanding the other person’s viewpoint.